The Mindful Mom

Hello my dearest village…. I have often been asked what philosophy I turn to when I guide my children and it is this-

The concept of focusing on the actions you take, rather than solely on the outcomes, is a cornerstone of wisdom found in the -Bhagavad Gita, one of the most revered texts in Indian philosophy and spirituality. This timeless teaching emphasizes the importance of actions, mindfulness, and the detachment from results, offering a profound roadmap for living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

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What is the Bhagavad Gita and why should we share its wisdom with our children?

The Bhagavad Gita, often referred to simply as the Gita, is a 700-verse scripture that is part of the Indian epic, the Mahabharata. It is presented as a conversation between Prince Arjuna and Lord Krishna who serves as his charioteer and divine guide. This dialogue occurs on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, where Arjuna is plagued by doubt and moral dilemmas about fighting a war against his own family members. The Gita addresses Arjuna’s inner conflict and offers profound spiritual, philosophical, and ethical guidance.

One of the key teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, relevant across all walks of life, is the philosophy of Karma Yoga-the path of selfless action. Lord Krishna advises Arjuna to focus on performing his duties (dharma) without being attached to the results, a principle summarized in the verse:

Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana,  

Ma karma phala hetur bhur, ma te sangostva akarmani

Translation: “You have the right to perform your actions, but not to the fruits of your actions. Never let the fruit of action be your motive, nor let your attachment lead you to inaction.”

The Importance of Focusing on Actions;

In life, we need to help our kids be present by emphasizing to them that the journey is as significant, if not more so, than the destinations we aim for. It is the small, mindful steps we take each day—our efforts, our striving—that shape our character and define our experiences. Focusing on actions rather than outcomes is liberating, as it places emphasis on what we can control (our efforts) and reduces anxiety about what lies beyond our influence (the results).

Here are some reasons why prioritizing actions over outcomes creates a happier, more fulfilling life:

1. Freedom from Result-Oriented Stress

When we place undue emphasis on outcomes, we become trapped in a cycle of stress and fear—fear of failure or frustration if things don’t go as planned. When my kids had upcoming exams I would often highlight that their learning was more important than their grade. Over time they realized that the grade cannot be a goal but only a reflection of the true goal of learning. By shifting focus to the actions themselves, we foster mindfulness and engagement in the present moment. This helps us approach tasks with joy and reduces unnecessary mental burdens.

2. Success or Lessons: A Win-Win Situation

By focusing on actions, we adopt a mindset where every effort is valuable. If the outcome is successful, we rejoice. If it’s not, we gain lessons that enrich our future endeavors. This balance between striving and detachment empowers us to turn every experience, regardless of its result, into something meaningful. Kids begin to absorb experiences and accept outcomes instead of hurriedly tolerating the effort they might need to put forth towards a goal and then living an experience only centered around the goal.

3. Staying Grounded in Ethical Living

A focus on actions allows us to align with our values and principles. When we act with integrity and purpose, the outcomes—though important—become secondary to the satisfaction of knowing we’ve done our best and acted rightly.

4. Building Sustainable Achievements

Goals achieved through sustained, mindful efforts tend to have a lasting impact. When we take every step with intention, we bring along the people we care about and create a foundation of support that amplifies and sustains success. Children gain a sense of agency and control over their own actions and my kids experienced less anxiety than their counterparts with this shift in perspective.

The Role of Mindfulness in Actions

Mindfulness, or the act of being fully present in the moment, plays a critical role in this process. By being mindful, we cultivate an acute awareness of the actions we are taking, ensuring they align with our goals and values. Practicing mindfulness in our daily lives allows us to engage fully with our tasks, elevating even the smallest efforts into acts of purpose and joy.

For Children: A Foundation for Life

Teaching children the value of focusing on actions rather than outcomes is one of the greatest gifts we can offer them. Here’s why this philosophy is particularly important for younger generations:

1. Resilience Against Failure:

When children are taught to value effort over results, they learn that setbacks are a natural part of growth. This builds emotional resilience and encourages them to persevere.

2. Intrinsic Motivation:

Children who focus on the joy of learning or creating rather than external rewards develop a love for the process, which fosters long-term growth and curiosity.

3. Balanced Perspective:

By emphasizing mindfulness and intentionality, children learn that success is not the sole measure of a good life. This helps reduce anxiety and promotes emotional well-being.

How to Encourage This in Children:

Praise Efforts:

Instead of saying, “You got an A!” try saying, “I’m proud of the hard work you put into studying.”

Model the Behavior:

Demonstrate how you stay engaged in your actions without obsessing over the outcome.

Mindfulness Activities:

Incorporate practices like meditation, journaling, or mindful play to help children develop focus and present-moment awareness.

Living the Gita’s Wisdom-

The Bhagavad Gita’s lesson of detachment from results is a timeless reminder that life is less about ticking boxes of achievement and more about cultivating meaningful, intentional actions. By focusing on what we can control—our efforts, values, and daily choices—we can lead fulfilling lives brimming with purpose.

This philosophy is especially relevant in today’s fast-paced, results-oriented world. It encourages us to slow down, savor the journey, and find joy in the process of striving. Whether for adults navigating complex challenges or children setting out on life’s adventures, this timeless wisdom fosters resilience, balance, and inner peace.

As Lord Krishna advises, when we act without attachment to outcomes, we align with our higher selves and contribute positively to the world. Let us walk this path with mindfulness, celebrating every step as an opportunity for growth and fulfillment. After all, life is made of the journey, not just the destinations.

I wish for you…a week of healing and send you soothing vibrations….. Namaste until Wednesday when we meet again.